obstacle to matrimony; but, I fear, having a wife already may be
considered by you a sort of objection."

"Why, sure, I must have the whole of my husband; I couldn't afford to
share him, especially when one limb is gone already. That puts me in
mind of my want of manners. I hope Mrs. Saunders is quite well. I hear
from Jack that you have a separate maintenance--that's very genteel."

"Why, yes, marm," replied my father; "the King maintains me, and my wife
maintains herself; so, as you say, we have a separate maintenance."

"Well, that's the best way when married people don't agree. What are you
laughing at, Mr. Jack? did I hint that your father and mother ever had
any little matrimonial differences? I certainly did hear that there was
a trifling dispute when they last parted; but when they bring me such
tales I always _cut them short_. Here's your _pigtail_, Mr. Saunders,"
continued the widow, laughing, as she put the tobacco on the counter.

I looked at my father, who did not seem to relish the hint, but he
answered very frankly, "If you cut them as short as my wife cut mine,
why, then you won't be troubled with them any more. I see, marm, you
know all about it, and you may have your laugh if it pleases you; but I
can tell you that my tail has done me better sarvice since it was off
than when it hung down my back."

"Become useful, instead of ornamental, I presume, Mr. Saunders."

"Just made this difference--when it was on it made my wife's tongue to
go; now it is off, it has stopped it."