Perfect Behavior; a guide for ladies and gentlemen in all social crises by Donald Ogden Stewart
page 32 of 153 (20%)
page 32 of 153 (20%)
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Opening the door of the room you step forward and announce,
"Fellows, we have got to go to a tea right away. Come on--let's go." At this, ten young men in cutaways will stand up and shout, "Yeaaa--the best man--give the best man a drink!" From then on, at twelve minute intervals, it is your duty to say, "Fellows, we have got to go to a tea right away. Come on--let's go." Each time you will be handed another drink, which you may take with either your right or left hand. After an hour the telephone will ring. It will be the groom. He will say, "Everybody is waiting for you and the ushers," to which you reply, "We are just leaving." He then says, "And don't forget to tell them what I told you about her father and mother." You then hang up the receiver, take a drink in one hand and say, "Fellows, I have a very solemn message for you. It's a message which is of deep importance to each one of us. Fellows--her father and mother object to the use of alcohol in any form." This statement will be greeted with applause and cheers. You will all then take one more drink, put on your silk hats and gray gloves, and leave the room singing, "Her father and mother object to drink--parlez vous." The tea given by the bride's parents is generally a small affair to which only the members of the wedding party are invited. When you and the ushers arrive, you will find the bride, the maid of honor and the bridesmaids waiting for you. As you enter the room, make a polite bow to the bride's father and mother, and be sure to apologize for your lateness. Nothing so betrays the social |
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