know, Mr. _Shrimp_, I am mightily subject to Convulsions, and just before
ev'ry Engagement I was unluckily seiz'd with so violent a Fit, they were
forc'd to carry me back to the next wall'd Town.

_Shr._ Are you for much Sugar in your Tea, Sir?

_Knap._ As much as you please, Sir.

_Shr._ Have you made many Campaigns, Mr. _Knapsack_?

_Knap._ This was the first, Mr. _Shrimp_, and I'm not positive that I
shall ever make another; for next Summer, I believe, some Business of
moment will confine me to this Kingdom--Pray, Mr. _Shrimp_, why don't you
exert your self in the Service; the Gentlemen of the Army wou'd be glad of
so sprightly an Officer as you among 'em.

_Shr._ O dear, Mr. _Knapsack_, I'm of so unfortunate a Stature, they'd
trample me under their Feet; besides, I have no Genius to Fighting; I
cou'd like a Commission in a Beau-Regiment, that always stays at home,
because a Scarlet-Lac'd-Suit, a Sash and Feather command Respect, keep off
Creditors, and make the Ladies fly into our Arms.

_Knap._ Ay, Mr. _Shrimp_, I don't doubt but you have good store
of Mistresses. Why you look a little thin upon the matter, ha!

_Shr._ No, no, Mr. _Knapsack_, I'm as moderate at that Sport, as any Man;
I must own, when a pretty Lady comes betimes in a Morning to my Master,
and he, poor Gentleman, is in a dead Sleep with hard Drinking, I do now
and then take her into the next Room, play the Fool with her a little till
my Master wakes, then give her a Dram of Surfeit-Water, and put her to Bed