parts of London will be obtainable at the Fair, but will not be
available before the opening day."

You must get there first, if you want to be told how to get there.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _The Vicar_ (_to Mrs. Bloggs, who has been describing the
insulting behaviour of the lady next door_). "WELL, WELL, IT MUST BE MOST
UNPLEASANT BEING SHOUTED AT OVER THE WALL, BUT I SUPPOSE THE BEST THING IS
TO TAKE NO NOTICE."

_Mrs. Bloggs_. "THAT'S WHAT I SHOULD LIKE TO DO, SIR. BUT O' COURSE I 'AS
TO GIVE 'ER A ANSWER BACK NOW AND AGAIN--JUST TO KEEP THE PEACE, LIKE."]

* * * * *

THE ACTING BOMBARDIER.

When JOOLIUS CÆSAR took 'is guns along the pavvy road
An' strafed the bloomin' 'eathens on the Rhine,
The men 'oo did 'is dirty work an' bore the 'eavy load
Was the men 'ose job did correspond to mine.
When NAP. dug in 'is swossung-kangs be'ind the ugly Fosse
And made the Prooshians sweat their souls with fear,
The men 'oo 'elped 'im most of all to slip it well across
Was the men with actin' rank o' bombardier.

Oh, the Colonel strafes the Old Man, an' 'e strafes the Capting too,
Then to the subs the 'eavy language flows;