jumped off th' roof."




OCEAN TRAVEL


"I see this here new steamboat has broke all records. It come acrost th'
Atlantic Ocean in four days. Passengers that got aboord at Liverpool on
Saturday were in New York Friday afthernoon."

"But that's more thin four days."

"Not be nautical time, said Mr. Dooley. Ye mustn't figure it out th'
way ye do on land. On land ye niver read that 'Th' Thunderbolt limited
has broken all records be thravellin' fr'm New York (Harrisburg) to
Chicago (Fort Wayne) in eight hours.' But with a steamboat 'tis
different. Ye saw a lot iv time off ayether end an' what's left is th'
v'yage. 'Th' Conyard line's gr-reat ocean greyhound or levithin iv th'
seas has broken all records iv transatlantic passages except thim made
be th' Germans. She has thravelled fr'm Liverpool (a rock so far off th'
coast iv Ireland that I niver see it) to New York (Sandy Hook
lightship) in four or five days. Brittanya again rules th' waves.' So if
ye've anny frinds inclined to boast about makin' a record ask thim did
they swim aboord at Daunt's Rock an' swim off at th' lightship. If they
didn't, refuse to take off ye'er hat to thim. To tell how long it takes
to cross th' Atlantic compute th' elapsed time fr'm boordin' house to
boordin' house. It's fr'm a week to ten days depindin on th' time ye go
to bed whin ye come home. Manny a man that come over on a five-day boat