"Don't ye iver take dhrugs?" asked Mr. Hennessy.

"Niver whin I'm well," said Mr. Dooley. "Whin I'm sick, I'm so sick I'd
take annything."




A BROKEN FRIENDSHIP


"Hogan was in here just now," said Mr. Dooley, "an' he tells me he was
talkin' with th' Alderman an' they both agreed we're sure to have war
with th' Japs inside iv two years. They can see it comin'. Befure very
long thim little brown hands acrost th' sea will hand us a crack in th'
eye an' thin ye'll see throuble."

"What's it all about?" asked Mr. Hennessy.

"Divvle a thing can I make out iv it," said Mr. Dooley. "Hogan says
we've got to fight f'r th' supreemacy iv th' Passyfic. Much fightin' I'd
do f'r an ocean, but havin' taken th' Philippeens, which ar-re a blamed
nuisance, an th' Sandwich Islands, that're about as vallyable as a toy
balloon to a horse-shoer, we've got to grab a lot iv th' surroundin'
dampness to protect thim. That's wan reason why we're sure to have war.
Another reason is that th' Japs want to sind their little
forty-five-year-old childher to be iddycated in th' San Francisco public
schools. A third reason why it looks like war to Hogan an' th' Alderman
is that they'd been dhrinkin' together.