But worse, still worse, they saw through their girlish spectacles dimmed
with unbidden tears. F'r in front iv each iv these war-battered vethrans
shtud a bottle, in some cases bar'ly half filled with a brownish-yellow
flood with bubbles on top iv it. What was it, says ye? Hardened as I am
to dhrink iv ivry kind, I hesitate to mention th' wurrud. But
concealment is useless. 'Twas beer. These brave men, employed be th'
taxpayer iv America to defind th' hearths iv th' tax-dodger iv America,
supposed be all iv us to have consicrated their lives to upholdin' th'
flag, were at heart votaries, as Hogan says, iv Aloes, gawd iv beer.

"F'r a moment th' ladies shtud dumfounded. But they did not remain long
in this unladylike attichood. Th' Chairwoman iv th' dillygation
recovered her voice an', advancin' to'rd a Sergeant who was thryin' to
skin a pair iv fours down so that it wud look like a jack full to his
ineebryated opponent, she said: 'Me brave man, d'ye ralize that that
bottle is full iv th' Seed iv Desthruction?' she says. 'I think ye'er
wrong, mum,' says he. 'It's Pilsener,' he says. 'Soon or late,' she
says, 'th' Demon Rum will desthroy ye,' she says. 'Not me,' says th'
vethran iv a thousand enlistments. 'I don't care f'r rum. A pleasant
companyon, but a gossip. It tells on ye. Th' Demon Rum with a little iv
th' Demon Hot Water an' th' Demon Sugar is very enticin', but it has a
perfume to it that is dangerous to a married man like mesilf. Rum,
madam, is an informer. Don't niver take it. I agree with ye that it's a
demon,' says he. 'Why,' says she, 'do ye drink this dhreadful poison?'
says she. 'Because,' says th' brave fellow, 'I can't get annything
sthronger without desertin,' he says.

"An' they wint down to Washington to see th' Congressmen. Ye know what a
Congressman is. I've made a few right here in this barroom. Th' on'y
thing a Congressman isn't afraid iv is th' on'y thing I'd be afraid iv,