frind comes out iv his thrance he's havin' his first thorough fill-up iv
ham an' eggs, an' th' clargy ar-re showin' an amount iv inthrest in him
that must be surprisin' to a man iv his humble station.

"A few days later I r-read in th' pa-apers in a column called 'Brief
News Jottings,' just below a paragraph about th' meetin' iv th'
Dairyman's Assocyation, an account iv how justice has pursooed her grim
coorse in th' case iv John Adamowski. An' I'm thankful to know that th'
law has been avinged, that life an' property again ar-re safe in our
fair land iv freedom, an' that th' wretched criminal lived long enough
to get all he wanted to eat.

"Justice is all a poor criminal asks f'r, an' that's what he gets. He
don't desarve a anny betther. 'Tis like askin' on'y f'r a pair iv dooces
in a car-d game an' havin to bet thim. If I done wrong I'd say: 'Don't
deal me anny justice. Keep it f'r thim that wants it. Undher th'
circumstances all I ask is a gr-reat deal iv injustice an' much mercy. I
do not ask to be acquitted be a jury iv me peers. I am a modest man an'
I'll accipt me freedom fr'm th' humblest bailiff in th' land. I do not
care to come triumphant out iv this ordeel an' repoort other cases f'r
th' newspa-apers. All I ask is a block's start an' some wan holdin' th'
polisman's coattails. I waive me right to be thried be an incorruptible,
fair, an' onprejudiced Judge. Give me wan that's onfair an' prejudiced
an' that ye can slip somethin' to.

"No, sir, whin a man's broke an' does something wrong, th' on'y temple
iv justice he ought to get into is a freight car goin' West. Don't niver
thrust that there tough-lookin' lady with th' soord in her hand an' th'
handkerchief over her eyes. She may be blind, though I've seen thriles
where she raised th' bandage an' winked at th' aujence--she may be