DEBT.--"SIMPLE SIMON" writes: "A man owes me money which he cannot
pay. He lives in furnished lodgings, and has given me a Bill of Sale
on the furniture. Is this sufficient security? He also offers to
insure his life for £200 if I will advance him £100, which will be
the cost of the first premium, which he says is always heavy. I am
disposed to close with this offer. Am I prudent?"--Prudent is hardly
the word to describe you. We should not in your position make the
advance mentioned. A retreat would be much better tactics. We fancy,
from your description, that your friend would do well as a Company
Promoter.

STOCK-DEALING TRANSACTIONS.--"Will you advise me under the following
circumstances?" asks "CHEERFUL SOUL," on a post-card. "I placed £50
with an Outside Broker as a speculation for the rise in Cashville and
Toothpeka First Preference. Yesterday I received a note to say I had
lost my money, as 'cover had run off.' On repairing to the Broker's
Office, I was surprised to find it apparently deserted. What is my
remedy?"--We should imagine that the Broker had "run off" too. Your
remedy is--not to speculate again. "Flutters" lead to the Gutters.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE EXPRESSED OTHERWISE.

_Married Vicar_, "WELL, MY BISHOP WAS VERY PARTICULAR WITH _ME_. AMONG
OTHER THINGS, HE ASKED ME, BEFORE PRESENTING ME, _WHETHER MY WIFE WAS
A LADY_!"

_His Curate_ (_reflectively_). "I CAN _QUITE_ UNDERSTAND _THAT_!"]