* * * * *

THE WAY THEY HAVE IN THE ARMY.

(_A CONVERSATION--PURELY IMAGINARY._)

SCENE--_Pall Mall. Present, SECRETARY OF STATE and Military
Adviser._

_Mil. A._ I want to know your ideas about the Autumn Manoeuvres. Are
we to have any this year?

_Sec. of S._ (_with a melancholy smile_). That depends upon
circumstances not entirely under my control.

_Mil. A._ Oh, yes; I know. But Governments may come and Governments
may go, but the State flows on for ever. Whatever _you_ commence
_they_ will have to carry out.

_Sec. of S._ Can we have these Manoeuvres without expense?

_Mil. A._ Well, scarcely. For instance, there is the ammunition.

_Sec. of S._ Oh, we can get over that! Every soldier, when he is
supposed to fire, can say, "Bang!" or words to that effect. We might
add the direction to the new Provisional Drill-Book.

_Mil. A._ (_drily_). Yes, you might; and it would prove about as
useful as the other regulations in that remarkable volume! Well,
suppose the difficulty of ammunition surmounted, what next?