A Parody Outline of History by Donald Ogden Stewart
page 16 of 104 (15%)
page 16 of 104 (15%)
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"Perhaps", said the Queen. "But I am oh so glad to be rid of
him." And indeed so great was the happiness of Queen Isabel that her pillow that night was wet with tears. But King Ferdinand was an unusually efficient king, and he spared no pains in his craving for normalcy. So it was that the next day he called to him the man who had chanced to be Royal Geographer before the coup d'oeuf of Colombo. "Now tell me", said the King, "is there any chance that a man who sails to the westward will ever return?" "None, your Majesty", said the ex-Royal Geographer. "For many have tried and horrible are the tales which they tell of demons and monsters lying in wait for the ships of men. And I should say definitely, oh King", said he, "that whoever sails to the westward will never return." And the tale tells how that afternoon Colombo stood before King Ferdinand. And very strange to Colombo was the enthusiasm which burned in the King's otherwise somewhat fishlike eye. "For know you, Colombo", the King was saying, "that God has spoken to me and commanded me to save from the fires of hell the inhabitants of those golden lands of which you sang. And to you, my dear Colombo, is to be given the chance which you so ardently desire. For I have this day purchased three ships which await your command, and within a week you should be well on your way on this glorious mission for God and for Spain, and", said the King, "I might add that the Queen, too, is much interested in this |
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