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A Parody Outline of History by Donald Ogden Stewart
page 17 of 104 (16%)
voyage and has even been persuaded to dispose of her jewels in
order that you may make haste."

"Such instant obedience to the will of God", said Colombo, "and
such fine enthusiasm to further His kingdom on earth, does your
Majesties great credit. And I shall indeed congratulate the
inhabitants of this to-be-discovered land for their good fortune
in obtaining such a devout King."

And the tale tells how that night Colombo took leave of Queen
Isabel. "Now do not weep, oh Queen", said he, "for I am only
Colombo whom men call the Dreamer, and I go in search of the land
of my imagining, and perhaps", said Colombo, "I shall return."
But they tell how Queen Isabel refused to be comforted for many
and many a day. And unexplainably curious to Father Bernadino
was his absolute and complete failure as a royal instructor in
geography, for Father Bernadino had taught for fifty-two years at
the University.

And so it was that Colombo sat alone in the cabin of the ship
which carried him towards the land of his imagining. And strange
and somewhat fearsome it was to the sailors to see their captain
sitting thus motionless night after night, for already had they
left the Canaries far behind and some there were who said that a
madman commanded their ship, and others who whispered of horrible
monsters in these western seas.

And the tale tells how one night Colombo observed across his
table one who had not been sitting there a moment before and
whose hair was strangely red.
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