* * * * *


FRENCH LIVING.

"Pa," said an interesting little Polyglot, down in the West, with his
French Rudiments before him, "why should one egg be sufficient for a dozen
men's breakfasts?"--"Can't say, child."--"Because _un oeuf_--is as good as
a feast."--"Stop that boy's grub, mother, and save it at once; he's too
clever to live much longer."

* * * * *


HINTS ON POPPING THE QUESTION.

_To the bashful, the hesitating, and the ignorant, the following
hints may prove useful_.

If you call on the "loved one," and observe that she blushes when you
approach, give her hand a gentle squeeze, and if she returns it, consider
it "all right"--get the parents out of the room, sit down on the sofa
beside the "must adorable of her sex"--talk of the joys of wedded life. If
she appears pleased, rise, seem excited, and at once ask her to say the
important, the life-or-death-deciding, the suicide-or-happiness-settling
question. If she pulls out her cambric, be assured you are accepted. Call
her "My darling Fanny!"--"My own dear creature!"--and a few such-like
names, and this completes the scene. Ask her to name the day, and fancy
yourself already in Heaven.