Worthy subject of derision,
Not the mail, but female, train!

It has goaded men to mutter
Words unhappily profane,
Trailed in ball-room or in gutter,
Whether cheap or first-class train.

Far and wide, on floor and paving,
Spread the dress to catch the swain;
Sometimes long--in distance waving;
Sometimes wide--a "broad-gauge train."

It has dragged a long existence
Through the dust, the mud, the rain,
Great is feminine persistence,
She would never lose the train.

Booby-traps were beaten hollow,
Hapless man stepped back in vain,
Knowing what a trip would follow
If he only caught the train!

Oh, the anguish that it gave us,
Quite unnecessary pain!
WORTH, not WESTINGHOUSE, will save us,
And at last will stop the train!

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