_First Passenger_ (_reading Morning Paper_). "'PSYCHICAL CHARACTER OF
HYSTERICAL AMBLYOPIA'!! DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT 'PSYCHICAL' MEANS! WHAT
DOES IT MEAN, OLD MAN?"

_Fellow Passenger_. "DON'T KNOW, I'M SURE, DEAR BOY! SOMETHING TO DO
WITH _BRAINS_, I B'LIEVE. NOT AT ALL IN _MY LINE_!"]

* * * * *

'ARRIET.

A REALISTIC RHAPSODY.

(_WITH APOLOGIES TO MR. HENRY KENDATT, AUTHOR OF "ASTARTE," IN THE
"BOOKMAN."_)

[Illustration: ('Arriet.)]

Across the wind-blown bridges,
O look, lugubrious Night!
She comes, the red-haired beauty
Illumined by gaslight!
By London's dim gaslight!
So hush, ye cads, your roar!
Behind her plumes are waving
Her oil'd fringe flaps before.

O 'ARRIET, Cockney sister,
Your face is writhed with jeers;