good running order...."--_Pall Mall Gazette._

We are glad to have this confirmation of reports from General Headquarters.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Skinner._ "WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT THE RATIONING?"

_Podmore._ "OH, WHEN MEALTIME COMES I TIGHTEN MY BELT."

_Skinner._ "FROM THE OUTSIDE OR THE INSIDE?"]

* * * * *

FROM A FULL HEART.

In days of peace my fellow-men
Rightly regarded me as more like
A Bishop than a Major-Gen.,
And nothing since has made me warlike;
But when this age-long struggle ends
And I have seen the Allies dish up
The goose of HINDENBURG--oh, friends!
I shall out-bish the mildest Bishop.

_When the War is over and the KAISER's out of print,_
_I'm going to buy some tortoises and watch the beggars sprint;_
_When the War is over and the sword at last we sheathe,_
_I'm going to keep a jelly-fish and listen to it breathe._