'There ain't no rocks round 'ere,' I said,
'It must 'ave bin all that beer.'

"When suddenly close on my starboard beam,
With scarcely a foot between
(I can see it now like an 'ijjus dream),
Rearin' its 'ead like a pisonous snake
Was a periscope, an' I saw the wake
Of a big 'Un submarine.

"An' I knew the ship wos an easy mark,
Like shootin' a sittin' 'en,
For the sky wos bright an' 'er 'ull wos dark
With the 'ole of 'er broadside showin' clear--
Couldn't 'ave missed, she was layin' so near,
If 'e 'd got 'er bearin's then.

"I saw 'is cruel little eye
A-swivellin' stem to starn;
'Now, Wells,' I ses, 'you must do or die,'
So I crammed my cap a-top o' the slit
And lashed it fast in place with a bit,
Wot I'd pinched, of the bo'sun's yarn.

"'E wos blinded, of course, an' 'e sank like a stone,
Which wos all that the blighter could do,
An' I 'urried to speak to the skipper alone;
I found 'im pacin' the quarter-deck,
An' I told 'im the truth in every respec'
The same as I'm tellin' you.