"Well, 'e looked me up an' 'e looked me down
Till I felt my cheeks go warm,
For I knowed there wos somethin' adrift by 'is frown;
Then 'e closed 'is jaw with a wicious snap;
'Where,' ses 'e, 'is your perishin' cap?
Do you call that uniform?.'

"An' so long as Brittanyer is queen of the sea,
Which is wot she 'as always bin,
You may do your dooty as well as me,
But you won't 'ave no credit at all for the same
Unless you give 'eed to the rules of the game,
Which is Service Discipline."

* * * * *

OUR POLYGAMISTS.

"The bride carried a sheaf of harem lilies and orchids."--_Provincial
Paper_.

* * * * *

[Illustration: WAR-TIME IN THE WILD WEST.

POSTMORTEM PETE APPEARS BEFORE THE LONE GULCH TRIBUNAL TO PLEAD FOR
EXEMPTION ON CONSCIENTIOUS GROUNDS.]

* * * * *