DOCKING THE DRAMA.

It has been reported that, in view of the necessity for restricting
the consumption of artificial illuminant, the authorities propose
drastically to curtail the duration of theatrical entertainments.
Should this prove to be the case, we venture to anticipate certain
further regulations that may shortly be added to those already printed
upon the programmes:--

(1) Every possible effort must be made to reduce the two-and-a-half
hours' traffic of the stage to one hour-and-a-half. With this purpose
it is enacted that--

(2) No reference to any supposed events prior to the commencement of
the action will be permitted in the dialogue. All such particulars
as may be essential to an understanding of the plot must be legibly
printed upon the programmes.

(3) No performer to take more than thirty-five seconds in quitting the
stage. Backward looks and doorway pauses forbidden (provided
always that nothing in this section shall apply to the case of an
actor-manager when surrendering heroine to youthful rival).

(4) All applause, except at the fall of the curtain, to be instantly
suppressed by ushers appointed for that purpose.

(5) Friend-of-the-Family parts to be restricted to one
illustrative anecdote and one advisory monologue, neither to exceed
three-and-a-half minutes in delivery.