Stradivarius, and in his story there was not a word about it, not a
word."

Whereupon the owner said with a laugh:

"That is as it should be. When Mr. Stradivarius gets his fiddles
advertised in my paper under ten cents a line, you come around and let
me know."


"Oh, we called about the flat advertised."

"Well, I did mean to let it, but since I've read the house-agent's
description of it, I really feel I can't part with it."


CLASSIFIED AD MANAGER--"Your advertisement begins: 'Wanted: Silent
Partner.'"

ADVERTISER--"Yes, that's right."

CLASSIFIED AD MANAGER--"Do you want this placed under Business
Opportunities or Matrimony?"


"Say, Jim," said the friend of the taxicab-driver, standing in front
of the vehicle, "there's a purse lying on the floor of your car."

The driver looked carefully around and then whispered: "Sometimes when
business is bad I put it there and leave the door open. It's empty,