"Have you any alarm-clocks?" inquired the customer. "What I want is
one that will arouse the girl without waking the whole family."

"I don't know of any such alarm-clock as that, madam," said the man
behind the counter; "we keep just the ordinary kind--the kind that
will wake the whole family without disturbing the girl."


_See also_ Philadelphia; Tardiness.




ALIBI


TEACHER--"What is an alibi?"

BRIGHT Boy--"Being somewhere where you ain't."




ALIMONY


_Or Go to Jail_

"Is there any way a man can avoid paying alimony?" asked the Friend
who was seeking free advice.