"Pass, Canadians!" acquiesced the sentry.


_Things in the Army that_

_Increase_ _Decrease_
Your appetite. Your surplus fat.
Your respect for the flag. Your self-conceit.
Your love for your mother. Your fastidiousness.
Your promptness. Your selfishness.
Your democracy. Your carelessness.
Your feet. Your finances.


A few soldiers belonging to part of a Swiss regiment in garrison at
Basel went to a certain cafe for refreshments. One of them sat down
alone at a table. Later a civilian, a German, joined him and the two
began to talk war politics. "Would you shoot on the Germans if they
invaded Switzerland?" asked the German.

"Oh, no, never!" exclaimed the soldier.

"Waiter, a pint of beer and a beefsteak with potatoes for this brave
man," ordered the civilian.

"And your pals sitting at the next table--would they also not shoot
the Germans if they tried to invade this country?"

"Oh, no, never," retorted the Swiss.