"Waiter, a glass of beer for each of the soldiers at the next table!"
ordered the civilian.

And addressing again the soldier, he asked: "Is this generally the
view held in the Swiss Army in regard to a possible German invasion?
Are all the Swiss soldiers so Germanophil?"

"I don't know," replied the soldier.

"But why would you not shoot the Germans?"

"Because we belong to the band."


OFFICER (to private)--"What are you doing down in that shell-hole?
Didn't you hear me say we were out against four to one?"

GEORDIE (a trade-unionist)--"Ay. Aa heard you; but aa've killed ma
fower."--_Punch_.


"The army must be a terrible place," said Aunt Samanthy, looking up
from the evening paper.

"What makes you think so, Samanthy?" asked her dutiful spouse.

"Why, jest think what it must be where beds is bunk and meals is a
mess."