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Humorous Masterpieces from American Literature by Various
page 37 of 218 (16%)
fish and cocoa-nuts, and ate him. As for you, they admit that you are a
heavenly personage, and they mean to worship you."

"How came ye to larn the language, annyway?" demanded the priest.

"I have wandered to and fro in the earth a good deal," replied Heller.
"I have performed some of my best black-art in these islands."

Father Higgins, rather bothered by these statements, was about to ask
further questions, when he was seized by four sturdy natives, who
mounted him upon their naked shoulders, while four others uplifted the
professor in like manner, all then setting off rapidly toward the
village, followed by the whole crowd in procession.

"An' what if I should tell ye I had conscientious scruples agenst
lettin' meself be adored for a heavenly personage?" objected the good
Father.

"Don't think of it," counselled Heller. "Being worshipped is infinitely
more agreeable than being eaten. Besides, consider the interests of the
Church. If you are set up as a god, you can use the position to sprinkle
holy water on your adorers, and so convert the whole island without
trouble."

"Sure y' are mighty well varsed in the precepts and customs av the
Jesuit Fathers," answered the priest, with a stare of wonder and
admiration. "I moind me now that the missionaries in Chaynee baptized
lashins av haythin babies under pretinse av rubbin' um with medicine.
An' it's a maxim that whin the ind is salvatory, the manes are
justified. It's a maxim, also, that y' ave no business to lead yer
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