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Humorous Masterpieces from American Literature by Various
page 38 of 218 (17%)
felly-crachurs into sin. Now cannebalism is a sin; it ud be a sin
capital for these fellies to ate us; an', av coorse, it follies that it
ud be a sin in me to timpt um to do it. But, by sufferin' meself to be
worshipped I prevint that same. So, I advise an' counsel, Heller, that
we go on as we are for a bit longer, until a proper time comes to
expose the whole av the thrue faith."

Beguiling the way with such like discourse, Father Higgins journeyed on
to the nearest village, where his bearers halted before an unusually
large hut, evidently serving as a temple. In the door of this building
the principal chief took post, and waving his hand toward the crowd,
made the following speech:

"Hear, O chiefs! hear, O priests of our religion ye men of Feejee, hear!
The god who can come over the waters is greater than the god who can
only abide upon the land, and shall have his house and his sacrifices.
Whosoever disapproves of this, let him offer himself for the trial of
the sacred poison; if he is not ready so to do, let him hereafter hold
his peace and submit."

No one objecting, the chief beckoned the bearers to follow him, and led
the way into the temple. Mounting a platform eight or ten feet high, he
advanced to an ugly scarecrow of an idol, slapped it, kicked it, and
toppled it to the ground. Then, with vast labor and much joyful
shouting, the ponderous form of Father Higgins was hoisted aloft, and
installed in the seat of the dethroned deity. Next Professor Heller was
set down upon his feet beside an altar which stood in front of the
platform.

"What are ye afther doin', Heller?" inquired the clergyman from his
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