When Nurse's temper runs amok,
And Cook is by the ears,
And all the home is terror-struck
By notices and tears,
And Madame begs me estimate
What argument or bounce'll
Restore and keep the peace, I state
Opinion of Counsel:--

"With language dignified and terse
And with a haughty look
I should annihilate the Nurse
And coldly crush the Cook;
And, if they started in to weep,
A word would make them stow it:--
'That's not effective, merely cheap;
And, what is more, you know it.'"

"You'd bring the Cook," says she, "to book
By just a look?" "I should."
"By something terse you'd make the Nurse
Feel even worse?" "I would."
"You'd say to weep was merely cheap
And, what was more, they knew it?"
"I should," say I; and her reply
Is: "Come along and do it."

_How doth the Barrister delight_
_In any low resort,_
_And hurry from the losing fight_