* * * * *

[Illustration: _Actor_ (_who has brought friend in for supper--to
lodging-house keeper_). "TUT, TUT, MA! CEASE YOUR APOLOGIES. WHAT IF
THERE IS BUT TWOPENNYWORTH OF FISH AND CHIPS? BRING IT FORTH. THIS IS
BOHEMIA!"

_Ma_ (_politely bowing to stranger_). "HOW D'YE DO, SIR?"]

* * * * *

BUBBLE AND SQUEAK.

(_By a Grateful Student of the New English Dictionary_.)

I can conjugate the modern verb "to wangle,"
And, if required, translate it into Greek;
I can even tell a wurzel from a mangel;
But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.

I still can march eight furlongs at the double,
Although I shall be seventy next week;
I can separate a bubble from a bubble;
But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.

I know a catfish differs from a seamew;
I don't expect Bellaggio at Belleek;
I know a cassowary from an emu;
But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.