I'm acquainted with the works of HENRY PURZELL
(My mastery of spelling is unique);
I repeat, I know a mangel from a wurzel;
But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.

I'm proficient both in jotting and in tittling;
I know a certain cure for boots that creak;
I can see through Mr. KEYNES and _Mr. Britling_;
But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.

I can always tell a _hari_ from a _kari_
("_Harakiri_" is a silly pedant's freak);
I can tell the style of CAINE from that of MARIE;
But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.

I never take a DEELEY for a DOOLEY;
I never take a putter for a cleek;
I never talk of HEALY, meaning HOOLEY;
But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.

I understand the sense of "oils are spotty";
I know the height of Siniolchum's peak;
I know that some may think my ditty dotty;
But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.

P.S.

I know the market price of eggs in Surrey,
The acreage of maize in Mozambique--
And now at last, thanks to immortal "MURRAY,"