Witch Hazel, rushed into my bulkhead compartment.

"Oxcooski, Your Majesty," said the Minister, "but this morning the
cookski was burning a few links of sausage for breakfast. Well, Your
Majesty, about two minutes afterwards the cookski and the stove and one
side of the palace left in a hurry and went away in a northwesterly
direction. We don't expect them back, because the sausage was stuffed
with rapid transit material, Your Majesty!"

Thus it goes all day. Don't you think it is pretty hard lines when I
have to make them wash the water on both sides before putting it in the
teapot?

Now I must stop because I hear the humming of the harpoons on the
outside. My officers are talking about me again. Farewellski!

* * * * *

CUSTOMS INSPECTOR. An individual who gets a salary for believing that
everybody on the steamboat is a smuggler.

* * * * *

In order to study briefly the Custom House system as applied to
returning travellers let us witness the arrival from abroad of the
Secretary of the Treasury.

Some years before the Secretary went into politics deep enough to stay
there and make expenses he took a slight trip to Europe.