saying "Aha! aha-eo! I-am-getting-one-thousand-dollars-a-night--tra-la-la-
la!-aha!-aha-eo! For-doing-this,--for-doing-this-with-the-pipes-I-get-one-
thousand-plunks-oh-plunks-per-night-aha!-aha-eo!"

Then the soprano responded with much emotion from the orchestra, "Ditto,
ditto, ditto! me too, me too! oo-oo-me too!"

It was delicious.

But just then came the bitter moment when all my deliciousness was
crushed because the narrow-headed man on my left switched softly into
"Hiawatha" with a few personal additions to the coda.

So I stood up and went home.




[Illustration: "H--It takes a real hero to laugh with an empty stomach."]

He laughs best who laughs with a full stomach.

How many people in this world are being coaxed when it's a club they
need!

Here are two things any man can find in the dark--a carpet tack and a
limburger sandwich.

"Handsome is as handsome does them"--the motto of the bunco steerer.