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P: The sixteenth letter of the alphabet, used principally in pickled
peppers.
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PAINT. A polite name for balloon juice. See the bartender.

PALPITATION OF THE TONGUE. A disease that affects many women.

PATRIOT. A man who spends all his money for fireworks for the little boy
and doesn't hold out $2 for the doctor's bill.

PATHOS. A poor man laughing at his rich wife's poor joke.

PEACH. A bit of domestic fruit, consisting of blonde tresses, a dimple,
and three bows of pink ribbon.

PEEKABOO. A summer idea invented for the purpose of making a girl's
shirtwaist something like a barb-wire fence with a full view of the
scenery. It is constructed by making one stitch and forgetting seven.
The Peekaboo is the only friend the mosquito has on earth.

PENITENTIARY. An assembly hall which always plays to a full house
because whiskey is it's advance agent.

PHILOSOPHER. A man who can size himself up and forget the result.

PLAN. Something which any fool can lay, but it takes patience like a hen