I fell in love with the Station belle,[1]
Got spliced; the Rupee, at once, no doubt,
In spite, not in love, but value fell.

[Illustration: III.--MAJOR.]

Children came, money went, all U P,
I thought, when promotion brought more pay
(What luck!); but that slippery Rupee
Decreased more visibly from that day.

[Illustration: IV.--COLONEL.]

Cramming! Schooling! Bills by every post!
But now, as Colonel, I think I see
My way; but I count without my host.
Vanished, like a ghost, has the Rupee!

[Footnote 1: By this I do not mean the Barmaid who presides over the
stale buns at our Railway Refreshment-room; I refer to the prettiest
girl at the Military Station where I was quartered.]

* * * * *

PREMIER AND PHYSICIAN.

(_IMAGINARY REPORT OF AN UTTERLY IMPOSSIBLE INTERVIEW._)

So you got through your labours at Oxford, my dear friend, without
feeling any ill effects?--Certainly, never enjoyed myself more.