Cecilia sat up and took notice.

"Hooligan!" she said, "Hooligan! Who's a Hooligan?"

"Sh! sister," I murmured. "You'll strain the epiglottis."

John turned on me savagely.

"You keep quiet. It isn't your epi--epi--what you said--and, anyway, can't
I even have a quiet row with my own wife without--"

"John, calm yourself," said Cecilia crushingly. "Alan, tell me what you've
been doing."

"Yes," muttered John, "tell her." He subsided into an armchair.

"Well," I said, "you see, Christopher and I were up in the nursery and
getting on quite all right when John butted in--"

"I simply opened--"

"John, keep quiet," said his wife. "Well, Alan?"

"Well, the fact is, Chris and I were in the middle of a great war with all
his soldiers. I had just firmly established fire superiority and was
actually on the verge of launching a huge offensive--the one that was going
to win the war, in fact--when, as I said, in butted this great clumsy
elephant and knocked half of Christopher's army over."

"Purely an accident," said John.