chance to make you proud.


APRIL 21.

[Sidenote: A chance to command.]

[Sidenote: Bringing a ship to dock.]

I have been having lots of fun in command myself, and good experience. I
have taken her out on patrol up to Norfolk twice, where the channel is
as thin and crooked as a corkscrew, then into dry dock. Later, escorted
a submarine down, then docked the ship alongside of a collier, and have
established, to my own satisfaction at least, that I know how to handle
a ship. All this may not convey much, but you remember how you felt
when you first handled your father's car. Well, the car weighs about two
tons and the W---- a thousand, and she goes nearly as fast. You have to
bring your own mass up against another dock or oilship as gently as
dropping an egg in an egg-cup, and you can imagine what the battleship
skipper is up against, with 30,000 tons to handle. Only he generally has
tugs to help him, whereas we do it all by ourselves.

[Sidenote: Justifying one's existence as an officer.]

This war is far harder on you than on me. The drill, the work of
preparing for grim reality, all of it is what I am trained for. The very
thought of getting into the game gives me a sense of calmness and
contentment I have never before known. I suppose it is because
subconsciously I feel that I am justifying my existence now more than
ever before. And that feeling brings anybody peace.