public telephones and getting immediate answers is now solved. It appears
that he is a well-known ventriloquist with a weakness for practical jokes.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "I NEVER ORDERED IT--AND I WON'T PAY FOR IT."]

* * * * *

"According to the latest census returns, the population of New York
City is now £5,621,000."--_Indian Paper._

In dollars, of course, it would be considerably more.

* * * * *

"The Royal Dutch Mail steamer Stuyvesant will leave on Monday at 5 a.m.
for Havre and Amsterdam. The tender leaves the Lighthouse Jetty at 8
a.m. punctually with passengers."--_West Indian Paper._

Rather a mean trick to play on them.

* * * * *

"The Chairman said the Council had never paid one penny for the oiling
and washing of the fire brigade."--_Local Paper._

It is understood that while the noble fellows do not object to washing at
reasonable intervals, they strongly deprecate oiling as unnecessarily
adding to the risks of their dangerous calling.