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Treat 'em Rough - Letters from Jack the Kaiser Killer by Ring Lardner
page 65 of 77 (84%)
something. So it took me about a hour to find this bird and another hour
to get him to open the door up for me and of course they wasn't nobody
home so the janitor says maybe I could find out where they went from the
neighbors so I rung the woman across the hall's bell and she come to the
door. So I said "I'm Corp. Keefe and I wanted to know if you knew where
is my wife and kid." So she says "They went out." Well Al I suppose I
didn't know they had went out and I felt like saying to her "Oh I
thought they might maybe of crawled in between the wall paper to take a
nap or I thought maybe they might of left the stopper out of the bath
tub and got drained off or something." But I just asked her did she know
where they went and she said she didn't.

[Illustration: As we marched, everybody stood on the side walks and
cheered us to the ecco (p. 129).]

Well I seen she didn't know nothing about them or probably nothing else
so I went back in the flat and waited and waited and it come along 5
o'clock and I called up a saloon over on Indiana and asked them to fetch
me over a doz. bottles of beer and I had 2 of them and then went out to
a restaurant and had supper and come back and nobody home yet. Well to
make a short story out of it I finished the beer up and finely went to
bed and I didn't know nothing more till 9 A.M. this morning
when the Swede come snooping into the room and seen me and let out a
screem and beat it and I got up and dressed and went in the kitchen and
she said Florrie had took little Al somewheres to stay all night with
some friends and give the Swede permission to go to a ski jumpers dance
out to Berwyn and Florrie would be home about 11.

Well Florrie come strutting in with the kid about 12 looking like she
hadn't done nothing out of the way and when she seen me she squeeled and
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