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Treat 'em Rough - Letters from Jack the Kaiser Killer by Ring Lardner
page 66 of 77 (85%)
come romping over for a kiss. Well Al she didn't get it. I kissed little
Al all right but I didn't see where she had a right to expect favors.
Well she seen how things stood and begin trying to explain something
about spending the P.M. down town shopping and then going to a show with
some friends of hers on the north side and they left little Al in charge
of the nurse at the friends and they both stayed there all night and why
didn't I tell her I would be home so as she could have changed her plans
and etc. So I said "Yes you are a fine wife and mother running around
town with a bunch of bums and leave your kid all alone in charge of a
nurse that you don't know nothing about her and for all as you know she
might of cut his ears off like a Belgium." Well I was sore and I give
her a good balling out and of course it wound up like usual with her
busting out crying and then they wasn't nothing for me to do only say I
didn't mean what I had been saying and we had dinner and maybe
everything would of been O.K. only we hadn't no sooner gotten up from
the table when in come 1/2 of the south side and their wifes to call.
Well they wasn't none of them I ever seen before or ever want to see
them again and they was all friends of Florrie's and 2 of the ladys was
customers of hers so she didn't dare tell them to get the h-ll out of
there and a Mrs. Crane and a Mrs. Somebody else picked on me and got me
in a pocket on the Davenport and they didn't even have sence enough to
call me Corporal but it was Mr. Keefe this and Mr. Keefe that and when
did I think the war would end and wasn't the Germans awful and how many
men did we have in France and when was I going and so on. And Mrs. Crane
said her and all her friends was so jealous of Mrs. Keefe because her
husband was a soldier so I said I had heard they was room in some of the
camps for a few more husbands and Mrs. Crane said her husband had tried
his hardest to get into something but he had bad teeth so I said why
didn't he try and get into some good dentist office. But they wasn't no
way I could get them mad enough to go home till 5 o'clock then I and
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