not a third part what his mother gave him, disclaimed title to his
father's land, distributing it among the peasants; now, the fifteen
hundred rubles' monthly allowance he received from his mother did not
suffice for his needs, and he often made it the cause of unpleasant
conversation with her. His true self he then considered his spiritual
being; now, his healthy, vigorous, animal self was his true ego.

And all this terrible transformation took place in him only because he
ceased to have faith in himself, and began to believe in others. To
live according to the faith that was in him was burdensome; every
question would have to be decided almost always against his animal
ego, which was seeking light pleasures; but reposing his faith in
others, there remained nothing to decide, everything having been
decided, and decided always against the spiritual and in favor of the
animal ego. Besides, following his inner faith, he was always subject
to the censure of people; in the other case he received the approval
of the people that surrounded him.

Thus, when Nekhludoff was thinking, reading, speaking of God, of
truth, of wealth, of poverty, everybody considered it out of place and
somewhat queer, while his mother and aunt, with good-natured irony,
called him notre cher philosophe. When, however, he was reading
novels, relating indecent anecdotes or seeing droll vaudevilles in the
French theatre, and afterward merrily repeated them, everybody praised
and encouraged him. When he considered it necessary to curtail his
needs, wore an old coat and gave up wine-drinking, everybody
considered it eccentric and vain originality; but when he spent large
sums in organizing a chase, or building an unusual, luxurious cabinet,
everybody praised his taste and sent him valuable gifts. When he was
chaste, and wished to preserve his chastity till marriage, his