_Morning Paper._

And some thermometer.

* * * * *

PETHERTON'S DONKEY;

OR, PATRIOTISM AND PUBLICITY.

I hadn't had a letter-writing bout with Petherton for some time, and,
feeling in need of a little relaxation, I seized the opportunity
afforded by Petherton's installing a very noisy donkey in his paddock
adjoining my garden, and wrote to him as follows:--

DEAR MR. PETHERTON,--I do not like making complaints against a
neighbour, as you know, but the new tenant of your field does not seem
to argue a good selection on your part, unless his braying has a more
soothing effect on you than it has on me.

Yours sincerely,
HARRY J. FORDYCE.

I was evidently in luck, as I drew Petherton's literary fire at once.

SIR (he wrote),--I should have thought that you would have been the
last person in the world to object to this particular noise. Allow
me to inform you that I purchased the donkey for several family and
personal reasons which cannot possibly concern you.