unknown to readers of the School Magazine some year ago:

_Cheer_. Have you read that jolly letter in _The Times_, on
"Uppingham by the Sea?"

_Grumb_. Yes, I have; and the writer says, "The commissariat was on
the whole good." I must say that surprises me.

_Cheer_. Why where was it at fault, then?

_Grumb_. Where? It was at fault all round. Look at the
puddings--everlastingly smoked!

_Cheer_. Yes; but the commissariat is not puddings.

_Grumb_. Well then, the coals--all chips and small dust; at least,
when there _were_ any.

_Cheer_. But the commissariat is not coals.

_Grumb_. Then the cold plates your gravy froze on!

_Cheer_. My good fellow, who ever heard of hot plates on a picnic?

_Grumb_. How about the vegetables then, that never came to table
except to make believe there was something in the Irish stew? or what
do you call the thing they sometimes served out for butter?

_Cheer_. Ah! well! "a rose by any other name"--you know the rest. But
still, the commissariat isn't bad because the butter was so sometimes.