bang into another train an smash this carriage all inter smithereens."

"Why, if it did yo'd be killed!"

"Awd dee gladly ony day," Sydney answered, "if aw could only know at a
Director wor killed too."

An soa they went on, Sydney dooin all kind o' mad things, he even
insisted on th' Director smookin three whiffs ov a cigar; but at last,
like ivverything i' this world, th' journey coom to an end, an they
glided into th' station at Brummagem.

As sooin as ivver th' train stopt, th' Director jumpt aght, an called
for a porter, "Get that gentleman's name," he sed, "he's been smookin in
this carriage."

Sydney wor sittin quite calmly, wi' hawf a cigar in his maath, an th'
porter sed,--

"Have yo been smookin, sir?"

"Ov coorse aw have, cannot yo see mi cigar, this is a smookin carriage,
luk thear"--an he pointed to th' label on th' winder.

Th' porter couldn't do anything when he seed that, but th' Director sent
for th' stashun maister, an made an awful shindy; he sed 'at Sydney wor
mad, an ha he'd threatened him wi' a knife, an aw dooant know what
beside--but Sydney wor soa polite, an whispered to th' Stashun maister,
"at he thowt th' owd feller had had too mich to sup, for he'd been
smookin hissen as they could easy find aght if they smell'd his