of East European Soviet Republics and the United Peoples'
Republics of East Asia respectively are herewith abolished
and dissolved into their constituent autonomous republics,
each one of which shall hereafter enjoy complete sovereignty
within its own borders as is right and proper._

Now, in case either of you gentlemen feel inclined to laugh this off,
let me remind you of the series of mysterious disappearances of some
of the most noted scientists of both the UEESR and the UPREA, and let
me advise your Excellencies that these scientists are now residents
and subjects of the Kingdom of Afghanistan, and are here engaged in
research and development work for my Government. These gentlemen were
not abducted, as you gentlemen seem to believe; they came here of
their own free will, and ask nothing better than to remain here, where
they are treated with dignity and honor, given material
rewards--riches, palaces, harems, retinues of servants, etc.--and are
also free from the intellectual and ideological restraints which make
life so intolerable in your respective countries to any man above the
order of intelligence of a cretin. In return for these benefactions,
these eminent scientists have developed, for my Government, certain
weapons. For example:

1.) A nuclear-rocket guided missile, officially designated as the
_Sword of Islam_, vastly superior to your Excellencies' respective
guided missiles _Marxist Victory_ and _Celestial Destroyer_. It should
be; it was the product of the joint efforts of Dr. Voronoff and Dr.
Bao Hu-Shin, whom your Excellencies know.

2.) A new type of radar-radio-electronic defense screen, which can not
only detect the approach of a guided missile, at any velocity