But thar' warn't a man could stop him in that whole blame settlement.--
He turned a double summersault an' out the winder went!

Then, the whole town council follered an' hollered all the way;
The parson said he had a call 'bout ten miles off, to pray!
He didn't preach nex' Sunday, an' they tell it roun' a bit,
Accordin' to the best reports the parson's runnin' yit!




A CRY FROM THE CONSUMER

BY WILBUR D. NESBIT


Grasshoppers roam the Kansas fields and eat the tender grass--
A trivial affair, indeed, but what then comes to pass?
You go to buy a panama, or any other hat;
You learn the price has been advanced a lot because of that.
A glacier up in Canada has slipped a mile or two--
A little thing like this can boost the selling price of glue.
Occurrences so tragic always thrill me to the core;
I hope and pray that nothing ever happens any more.

Last week the peaceful Indians went a-searching after scalps,
And then there was an avalanche 'way over in the Alps;
These diametric happenings seem nothing much, but look--
We had to add a dollar to the wages of the cook.
The bean-crop down at Boston has grown measurably less,