THE BILLVILLE SPIRIT MEETING

BY FRANK L. STANTON


We had a sperrit meetin' (we'll never have no more!)
To call up all the sperrits of them that's "gone before."
A feller called a "medium" (he wuz of medium size),
Took the contract fer the fetchin' o' them sperrits from the skies.

The mayor--the town council--the parson an' his wife,
Come to shake han's with them sperrits what had left the other life;
The Colonel an' the Major--the coroner, an' all
Wuz waitin' an' debatin' in the darkness o' the hall.

The medium roared, "Silence! Amanda Jones appears!
Is her husband present?" ("No, sir--he's been restin' twenty years!")
"Here's the ghost of Sally Spilkins, from the lan' whar' glories glow:
Would her husband like to see her?" (An' a feeble voice said, "_No_!")

"Here's the wife of Colonel Buster; she wears a heavenly smile:
She wants to see the Colonel, an' she's comin' down the aisle!"
Then all wuz wild confusion--it warn't a bit o' fun!--
With "Lord, have mercy on me," the Colonel broke an' run!

Then the coroner got skeery an' scampered fer his life!
"Stop--stop him!" said the medium; "here comes his second wife!"