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The Wit and Humor of America, Volume I. (of X.) by Various
page 96 of 259 (37%)
feeling of so much importance as to fear that if he attends he will be
called upon to say something.


IN DISPUTE

In some communities where I have lived the women were mean to their
husbands; in others, the husbands were mean to their wives. It is
usually the case that the friends of a wife believe her husband to be a
brute, and the friends of the husband believe the wife to possess no
other talent than to make him miserable. You can't tell how it is; the
evidence is divided.


MAN

There is only one grade of men; they are all contemptible. The judge may
seem to be a superior creature so long as he keeps at a distance, for I
have never known one who was not constantly trying to look wise and
grave; but when you know him, you find there is nothing remarkable about
him except a plug hat, a respectable coat, and a great deal of vanity,
induced by the servility of those who expect favors.


OPPORTUNITY

You hear a great many persons regretting lack of opportunity. If every
man had opportunity for his desires, this would be a nation of murderers
and disgraced women.

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