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The Wit and Humor of America, Volume III. (of X.) by Various
page 195 of 202 (96%)
to the ring, and the bank was purty steep. I had on a pair of old
breeches that had been sained in and dried so often they was about half
rotten. When we hitched, Ike took good britches hold, and lifted me up
and down a few times like I was a child. He was the heaviest, but I had
the most spring in me, and so I jest let him play round for sum time,
limber like, until he suddenly took a notion to make short work of it
by one of his backleg movements. He drawed me up to his body and lifted
me in the air with a powerful twist. Just at that minit his back was
close to the river bank, and as my feet touched the ground I giv a
tremenjius jerk backwards, and a shuv forwards, and my britches busted
plum open on the back, and tore clean off in front, and he fell from me
and tumbled into the water, kerchug, and went out of sight as clean as a
mud turtle in a mill pond. Such hollerin' as them boys done I rekon
never heard in them woods. I jumped in and helped Ike get out as he riz
to the top. He had took in a quart or two of water on top of his
barbyku, and he set on the bank and throwed up enuf vittels to feed a
pack of houns for a week. When he got over it he laffd, and sed Sally
told him before he left home he'd better let Bill Arp alone--for nobody
could run agin his luck. Ike always believed he would hav throwd me if
britches holt hadent broke, and I rekon may be he would. One thing is
sertin, it cured him of braggin', and that helps anybody. I never did
like a braggin' man. As a genrul thing they ain't much akkount, and
remind me of a dog I used to have, named Cesar.


DOGS

But I dident start to tell you a dog story--only now, since I've
mentioned him, I must tell you a circumstance about Cees. He was a
middlin' size broot, with fox ears and yaller spots over his eyes, and
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