public schools, are shown pictures of George Chopping the Cherry
Tree and Breaking Up the Delaware Ice Trust, Valley Forge in
Winter, and Mt. Vernon on a Busy Day. The Pride of the Class
recites Washington's "Farewell to the Army," Minnie the Spieler
belabors the piano with the "Washington Post March," and the
scholars all eat Washington Pie, made of "Columbia, the Jam of the
Ocean."

MARCH 17, St. Patrick's Day and Evacuation Day, when the British
redcoats got out of Boston and Patrick evicted the snakes from
Ireland. For observing the day, wear a turkey-red coat, or vest,
and put a bit of green ribbon, or a shamrock, in the buttonhole--
the green above the red. On Easter day, wear a scrambled egg in
the same place.

APRIL 19, Patriot's Day. A New England successor to FAST DAY--the
slowest day of the year. Originally invented for Fasting and
Prayer. Now used exclusively for opening the Baseball Season,
Locating a Seashore Home for the Summer, and watching Red-Shirted
Diogenes at his Tub.


Little drops of water,
Little lines of hose,
Make the mighty Muster
As ev'ry Laddie knows.


MAY 1, Moving Day. Observed everywhere by The Restless Tenant.