APRIL 26; MAY 30 Memorial Days In "Dixie"; In the North. A
Symphony in Blue and Gray.

JUNE 17, Bunker Hill Day. Celebrated in Boston, Mass., by a
procession of the Ancient and horrible Distillery Company, a few of
the City Fathers in hacks, a picked bunch of Navy Yard sailors and
occasionally a few samples from a Wild West Show. For 24 hours,
pistols and firecrackers are allowed to mutilate Young America ad
lib.

JULY 4, Independence Day. A national holiday, invented for the
benefit of popcorn and peanut promoters; tin horn and toy-balloon
vendors; lemonade chemists; dealers in explosives; physicians and
surgeons. A grand chance for the citizen-soldier to hear the roar
of battle, smell powder, shoot the neighbor's cat, and lose a
night's rest--or a finger.

LABOR DAY, First Monday in September. The only day when labor
works overtime. An occasion when the workingman takes a cane in
place of a dinner-pail and proudly tramps the streets behind a real
silk banner and a Hod Carrier on a Cart Horse.

THANKSGIVING DAY (Last Thursday in November). A day devoted to the
annual division of Turkey--with Greece on the side--by the Hung'ry
folks.

DECEMBER 25, Christmas Day. Another national holiday, marked by
the following observances: Filling the young and helpless with a
lot of fiction about Santa Claus, the old chimney fakir, who went
up the flue long ago; making a clothesline of the mantelpiece and