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Old Friends, Epistolary Parody by Andrew Lang
page 23 of 119 (19%)

P.S.--The Fredericks were in the bag, all told.



LETTER: From Mrs. Gamp to Mrs. Prig.



Mrs. Gamp nurses an old friend who is under a singular delusion.


Todgers's.

My precious Betsy,--Which when last we parted it was not as I could
wish, but bearing malice in our hearts. But, as often and often
Mrs. Harris have said it before me, with the tears in her angel
eyes--one of them having a slight cast from an accident with the
moderator lamp, Harris being quick in his temper--often and often
have she said to me: "Ah, Sairey, the quarrels of friends is
affection's best restorer." And good reason to know it she have,
with a husband as was ever true, and never gave her no cause to
form the wish to pizen them as has good looks, but, for I will not
deceive you, ready with his hands.

And so, between you and me may it be, Betsy Prig, as was constant
partners afore them Chuzzlewidges, and Nadgetts, and Lewsomses, and
Tiggses, and Chuffeys got that mixed and that aggerawating that to
remember who of them poisoned which or for why in a slime draught,
it makes my poor head go round, nor could such be soothing to the
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