You Never Can Tell by George Bernard Shaw
page 37 of 166 (22%)
page 37 of 166 (22%)
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CRAMPTON. That's a spoiled child, Mr. Valentine. That's one of your modern products. When I was her age, I had many a good hiding fresh in my memory to teach me manners. VALENTINE (taking up his dental mirror and probe from the shelf in front of the cabinet). What did you think of her sister? CRAMPTON. You liked her better, eh? VALENTINE (rhapsodically). She struck me as being--- (He checks himself, and adds, prosaically) However, that's not business. (He places himself behind Crampton's right shoulder and assumes his professional tone.) Open, please. (Crampton opens his mouth. Valentine puts the mirror in, and examines his teeth.) Hm! You have broken that one. What a pity to spoil such a splendid set of teeth! Why do you crack nuts with them? (He withdraws the mirror, and comes forward to converse with Crampton.) CRAMPTON. I've always cracked nuts with them: what else are they for? (Dogmatically.) The proper way to keep teeth good is to give them plenty of use on bones and nuts, and wash them every day with soap--- plain yellow soap. VALENTINE. Soap! Why soap? CRAMPTON. I began using it as a boy because I was made to; and I've used it ever since. And I never had toothache in my life. VALENTINE. Don't you find it rather nasty? |
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